STEVE PIECZENIK TALKS

Hail to the “Wombat” Cock! 

Prince William,  Duke Of Cambridge, and Princess Catherine Middleton Have Copulated and Branded Their Fornication in the Next Heir To The Crown: 

“It’s Worth Billions Of Dollars!”  Proclaims the "Doyenne of Social Debris"--- Piers Morgan of CNN.

Sorry DSK,  You did have more fun but it Cost Millions!
C’est Dommage!  The French always pay more than they have to ---even in love! Charles Aznavour—where are you? Yves Montand—how could this happen? Catherine Deneuve—my halcyon beauty--- tell me this is not so!

Now which country in the world could create a unique brand of “FORNICATION”,  PROMOTE  IT!  and then MAKE BILLIONS on it?

You got it!!
Thank God For Britain!
  What else do you do when unemployment is rising,  your economy is sinking and Barclays Bank---Britain’s main bank---can’t even maintain a respectable level of incompetency and corruption by manipulating the very financial variable it created—THE LIBOR.

Why use the Royal Family!! Engagement,  Rumors…!! and

Marriage—My God,  I was aghast that the world was aghast! But how do you fault that OLD FOX,  QUEEN ELIZABETH,  for knowing how to make money? 

  Hey, who else would gloat about a father who was a stutterer and make money off that—Thanks Harvey and Bob Weinstein for that enlightening moment when the King of England can speak his native tongue!

Imagine if he had to speak French or even American English ---oops! What a CATASTROPHE! 

  But truthfully that’s another movie

  Or how can you fault Helen Mirren who played “The Queen” while the Queen is still alive?  Elizabeth,  have you no shame? 

Now, remember, my dear readers, I am not talking about “Queen” –Fred Mercury—the Parsi musical genius who at least composed, sang, and performed incredible feats of artistry and had the misfortune to die of AIDS.  However,  he left a legacy of music that will be cherished around the world. 

So we are not talking about talent, creativity, suffering, or doing something worthy for mankind—like discover the “Double Helix”—as the ex-intelligence officer/scientist Sir Francis Crick had done. 

Take another example of true British accomplishment,  Sir Frances Sanger,  two-time Nobel Prize Winner for discovering and exploring  the “DNA/RNA’  [basis of the genetic code].   Even now,   I wonder how many people in the world even know who he is. 

Unfortunately for Sanger,  he was not interested in money or fame.   So he was never into self-promotion like the Royal Family and especially,  Queenie. 

I am talking about a ‘genetic’ disposition which had nothing to do but be what they were intended to be— by no virtue of effort,  creation or entrepreneurship but just by simply procreating and delivering a baby.  Clearly an unbelievable feat for the British! 

  Amazing fact that ‘fornication’ could be so lucrative!!  And here in America we ban prostitution.  Shame on this American anti-capitalist attitude! 

  The British Royal Family unfortunately is neither British nor Royal—but that is a matter for another time.  So let’s accept the Branding of the Queen and her Royal Family as a given fact of British Financial Institutions—probably more important than it’s public banks [corrupt], merchant banks [even more corrupt] and it’s undeniably corrupt press and Police men who wiretap the helpless and hopeless –thanks of course to that “Aussie Maverick,” Rupert Murdoch, with all of his Perth Pretensions and his Publishing Empire---derived principally from his wealthy Jewish mother  (a fact he tries to hide assiduously).

  "Willis" or "Wombat",  as the Queen and her consort Duke of Edinburgh,  affectionately call Prince William,  is probably a nice sort of chap.  By no fact, anything but an ordinary fellow thrown into the ‘limelight’ of Branding and Marketing,  probably by no will of his own but as a result of his beautiful,  tragic mother,  Princess Diana  [who died incredibly mysteriously in a Paris Underpass that I have traversed many a time and to this day wonder how she could have died in the manner that she did—but that is another story for another time.  Why not ask MI-6?]  giving birth to him first.

So why pick on this poor bloke? 

  It’s clearly not him that I am or the world is talking about but, an arcane institution that had been repeatedly overthrown over centuries in multitude of countries around the world for simply being what they were –royalty—or parasites of their society that demands more from their citizenry than they give back.

  But quite frankly, that does not seem to be the case with respect to the Royal Family of England.

In all fairness to the British who have had many an opportunity to overthrow their royal family,  but in their collective wisdom,  they decided that the royal family was an institution that was worthy of their collective support and taxation. 

That Old Fox, Queen Elizabeth,  is perhaps the best marketer I have ever witnessed, far surpassing Steve Jobs, in her calculations and branding of an asset as simple as the THE FAMILY.

  She had no need for IPods,  IPads, or Cyber space. 

But give her the credit to where credit is due.

  Not everyone can glorify ‘fornication’ without making into pornography.  She did it.  She carefully groomed her grandsons,  especially Wombat and then carefully picked the right mate for him ---an attractive, hip, Catherine Middleton and gave her the title of Duchess of Cambridge--- an exceedingly prestigious University and one of the oldest and most revered learning and intelligence institutions in the world.
  To be a little sardonic here,  it is a bit paradoxical that neither of her  grandsons or grand daughter-in-law could have qualified intellectually to enter Cambridge and pass with flying colors.  The Queen knew that and instead, clever as she is, she sent Prince William to four different schools. 

  According to his biography,  he spent parts of his education in Chile, Belize, and in countries in Africa.  He took Kiswahili Studies at universities in Kenya and Tanzania.  He was commissioned in the Royal Blues and Royals Regiment of the Household Cavalry.  So he has served his country honorably.

And Catherine comes from humble beginnings.  Parents worked at British Airways, especially in Amman, Jordan.  A little spy action there? Huh! So what.

The truth is that I really can’t fault the British for keeping their traditions.  But I am so, so happy that our Founding Fathers as well as President Andrew Jackson-did fight two wars against the British Royal Family. 

  My God,  if I were to write this blog in England,  first,  by their laws of secrecy,  I would have been in jail by now.  Then, although they preach free speech,  I have this nasty feeling that it’s not quite as free as they would hope it to be.  Witness the fact that any individual is viewed on secret TV Cameras over twenty times a day.  Now that’s Big Brother. 

  We are puny compared to the Brits when it comes to control and suppression.  We are just not good at it. 

  God knows we have tried to dominate the world –just like the Brits---Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Saudi Arabia, UAE—whew!!
We,  Americans are not really that good at Divide and Conquer the way the Brits had done for centuries all over the world. 

But that was the past so now let's look to the future….

  And so I say to us all,  raise a glass of beer or ale and toast the young Prince William,  Duke of Cambridge,  Earl Of Strathearn and Baron Carrickfergus, and all of us in unison proclaim the following words together all at one time: 

“Hail To The Wombat's Cock!”   

And in the immortal words of Godfather Part One:

 “May the first child –be a male child!” 

There’s more money in being a man in the British Royal Family.
By the way,  Good Work! Queen Elizabeth! 

Your father would have been proud of you as we are today.